Second drawing

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First drawing .. ^^

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Strength

“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” Vernon Howard

It is a sandy day full of gloominess and bitterness. As i walk my way through the crowd in that dusty cave all i see is what people are really thinking what people are really seeing, and i ask myself all these questions, i start doubting myself and blaming it for what i am. I know for a fact that i can be better than this, but it is a curse that hinders me from reaching for an escape. i speak in agony hoping it will relieve some of my miserable thoughts.

It is a sandy d…

inhuman

it sneaks up in my skin

it’s so sneaky i can’t even spin

red and flaky

oh don’t mistake it

for it is deadly

i’ve been trying

so hard i’m dying

to let you go

but your love for me

is untold

you’re a deadly love

a wrong misunderstood love

you want me but i don’t

you make me cry

die inside

in the darkest nights

i pray you’d leave me

but your shadow is still

your stubbornness is eternal and your stay is final

i hate you, need i say more

why the rush you say

because i want to live and play

leave me?

crying desperately

every day is a new begging

and i shall wait for the happy ending

for god has promised

though you break me

as you climb up on me

hardening your roots

feeding on me

i will say strong and fight you

without a sword

for faith, is my only source

Confused…

Cinderella is a fairytale, i’ve always liked her when i was younger, those sandals, ugh are to die for -silly thoughts that younger me had- or sleeping beauty being kissed by a prince ah a dream coming true.

As i remember those days that i have come to slowly forget, i feel refreshed. The innocence that contained me back then has been fading each day ever since, the wonderful thoughts, the amazing days become less as i grow older, i think to my self a lot saying, is it a disease?! or is it simply life-so i’ve been told- answers, i crave for answers, those people that surround me all in different shapes and colors, those places i go to, losing someone along the way, or meeting another, having fights or making up, feeling loved but mostly hated, those contradictions that take over ones life, phases that one must go through each and everyday, it is only today that i have found i am not the only one that has been going through such complexities, the feeling of being hated has taking over me in the past few weeks, or rather not being cared for is more like it, when other see it from the outside, i’m the luckiest one, but as they come closer they can see the flaws and imperfections that surrounds our circle of friendship as the feeling of competence and wanting to be better takes over most of us, it bothers me to the extent that it aches my heart and brain because of how much i’ve thought of those things, so far, i’m aching as i find myself in that place they call university, just like starting a video game, once your in wonderland you’ll soon be lead to the spooky forests and ugly trees staring at you, an outsider, this is the kind of feeling i’m trapped in, and each step i take i hope for the second to become better, people have said that tomorrow shall be, so do not worry and be free, but when it comes to reality, it is so hard to accomplish, the act of an unaffected lion that leads its tribe with none really caring is awfully hurtful and full of grief, for now i hope that whenever that day along with a new breeze that shall last for a long time will come sooner than butterflies death period, or rather faster than a blink.

is it real !?..

A stuck creature

in the land of “the unknown”

a lonely bird seeks to be heard

filled with grief..

Broken

life turns black

even when the sun rises

feeling hopeless and sad..

for it to rise again

is only and only a mirage

as they pretend

i lie on the edge

floating with the wind

lost

in search of deep happiness 

praying for those words to be heard

yet still,

i await the answer

“anxious”!!

is the feeling

as i get the beating

i wait wait and wait

for i am the bait

i ask

is it real?!

it is not.

is what i hear

oh i hope to god

for “i” haven’t GOT…

a clue  nor a hint

that seeks me

out of the blue

a dream?!

i wonder

with a feeling of “surrender”

p.s i just threw in some words here and there and bam, this is how i feel

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